I restarted my blog in May and with December’s blog, I’ve met my goal of blogging at least once a month. I almost didn’t reach that goal. I’m tired and considered not blogging this month. I’m tired and considered just posting a picture captioned with Happy Holidays! But that didn’t feel right, or good.

I’m tired. And I wanted to write a blog this month.

I’m tired because of the low light this time of year, because I don’t get outside and exercise enough, because I don’t often sleep well. I’m tired because the state of our planet and our humanity is exhausting.

I wanted to write a blog this month, and I wasn’t sure what to say.

In talking with two writer friends about whether I would write this blog, about being tired, about what was happening with my writing lately, I discovered I not only had something to say, I had enough energy to do so. Receiving their empathy gave me that energy.

Last week I worked on cutting down an essay from 317 words to 250 or less, which is the word limit for a dream publication, Riverteeth’s “Beautiful Things.” I was stuck around 300 words. I spent two hours seeking a smaller shape for the piece and I couldn’t find it. Perhaps I needed to look for a journal with a higher word count, but that was not the solution I wanted. I was disappointed and I walked away.

Later that day something drew me back to that short essay. I focused on the central essence of the story, the push that made me want to write about this moment to begin with, and I stayed with that moment and I wrote a complete essay that is currently at 248 words. I am, I told myself, a f*@#ing rock star. Tired and walking away from the work. Tired and returning to the work.

Here’s to writer friends, and here’s to you sharing this writing journey with me. Thank you and Happy Holidays.