{"id":100,"date":"2015-12-21T12:12:10","date_gmt":"2015-12-21T20:12:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/laurarink.com\/wp\/?p=100"},"modified":"2025-06-16T12:41:24","modified_gmt":"2025-06-16T19:41:24","slug":"a-christmas-past-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/laurarink.com\/wp\/a-christmas-past-2\/","title":{"rendered":"A CHRISTMAS PAST"},"content":{"rendered":"

What sticks<\/strong> in a child\u2019s mind and survives into adulthood? What joy? What fear? What anger?<\/p>\n

Forty-five years<\/strong> ago, my mom\u2019s extended family rented a large cabin in Big Bear for Christmas. There must have been at least twenty of us, pretty chaotic. It was the first Christmas in seventeen years that it didn\u2019t snow there, a fact that has nothing to do with this story, but it is noteworthy, it is mentioned every time this story is told, it is part of the family folklore\u2014the year it didn\u2019t snow.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I was <\/strong>five and running around the cabin with my four-year-old cousin, playing hide and seek or chase, I don\u2019t remember. I go in the bathroom and lock the door. My cousin tries to get in and ha! he can\u2019t get me. Then I go to leave and I can\u2019t unlock the door. The doorknob won\u2019t budge. Go get my mom, I tell my cousin. He leaves and comes back. She\u2019s busy, he says. Go get my mom! I\u2019m starting to panic. It\u2019s a large bathroom\u2014I don\u2019t remember feeling claustrophobic, just scared that I couldn\u2019t get out. Tell her I need her, I yell. I don\u2019t think my cousin told her I was trapped in the bathroom. He must have been saying something general like Laura wants you.<\/p>\n

My mom,<\/strong> I found out later, was in the kitchen helping prepare food for the horde. It\u2019s not fair, I know, that moms often don\u2019t get the credit for all the hard work they do. It is Mom who is present, Mom making sure you have everything you need, Mom soothing the upsets. But her deeds are like housework\u2014nobody notices when it\u2019s done. What we do remember is the one time she wasn\u2019t there, the one time she didn\u2019t come through. It\u2019s not fair but a mother\u2019s constancy is so depended upon that the breach is unforgivable. Now as an adult, as a mother myself, I have more understanding for her then. But when I was trapped in the bathroom, I was outraged that she didn\u2019t come, shocked\u2014where was my mom!<\/p>\n

I must<\/strong> have asked my cousin to get my dad. My dad\u2019s voice came from the other side of the door, and my uncle got some tools and removed the doorknob. My dad hugged me and said he would always get to me, nothing could keep him from me, words I have never forgotten. And then I inexplicitly took that moment to ask, \u201cIs there really a Santa Claus?\u201d My dad didn\u2019t say no or yes but explained something to the effect that the world was a big place and Santa needed help, so parents help. That satisfied me and off I went.<\/p>\n

Later I<\/strong> accused my mom, \u201cYou didn\u2019t come!\u201d \u201cI was cooking,\u201d she said. \u201cYour Dad came.\u201d And she was right. Kids often think one parent failed them while the other came through, not realizing that parents are more than a team, they are a unit, what one does is to the credit of both, that parents often divide duties so they can conquer each day, and the triumph is not in both being there every time for their children but that one of them is, while behind the scenes the other is making money or making dinner, one of those vital tasks needed to maintain a family.<\/p>\n

That Big<\/strong> Bear Christmas, I got a Barbie airplane, a fact as essential to this story as the lack of snow, and just as indelibly imprinted on my mind.<\/p>\n

\"Mom&Dad\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What sticks in a child\u2019s mind and survives into adulthood? What joy? What fear? What anger? Forty-five years ago, my mom\u2019s extended family rented a large cabin in Big Bear for Christmas. There must have been at least twenty of us, pretty chaotic. It was the first Christmas in seventeen years that it didn\u2019t snow […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":103,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[19],"tags":[22,20,21,23,24],"class_list":["post-100","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-memoir","tag-big-bear","tag-christmas","tag-memoir","tag-memory","tag-parents"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laurarink.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/MomDad.jpg?fit=3600%2C2400&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6RxKM-1C","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":6047,"url":"https:\/\/laurarink.com\/wp\/nobody-cares-about-your-dead-relatives\/","url_meta":{"origin":100,"position":0},"title":"Nobody Cares About Your Dead Relatives","author":"Laura Rink","date":"March 18, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"In the writing world the saying goes, nobody cares about your dead relatives. Or the living ones, for that matter. The fact that my Armenian grandmother was dear to me isn\u2019t enough to endear her to readers. Saying my uncle gave me the best books for Christmas doesn\u2019t keep a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Memoir"","block_context":{"text":"Memoir","link":"https:\/\/laurarink.com\/wp\/category\/memoir\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laurarink.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Haigazn-family-best.jpg?fit=1200%2C910&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laurarink.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Haigazn-family-best.jpg?fit=1200%2C910&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laurarink.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Haigazn-family-best.jpg?fit=1200%2C910&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laurarink.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Haigazn-family-best.jpg?fit=1200%2C910&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laurarink.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Haigazn-family-best.jpg?fit=1200%2C910&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":320,"url":"https:\/\/laurarink.com\/wp\/shotpouch\/","url_meta":{"origin":100,"position":1},"title":"SHOTPOUCH","author":"Laura Rink","date":"June 20, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"A wash of pink spreads across the lavender sky. 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